nothing in our way

Right now is a time of many questions from the boys as they are feeling stuck between hearing two sides of one story. Divorce is not something I've been through as a child but it is something I've been through as an adult. I hated it. I didn't have kids so I hope honestly never to cross paths with my ex again. I sure hope he's changed but life with him was miserable at best. Sure, I know he has his side of the story but after years of hearing what was wrong with me (from him), I finally realized what was right with me and took a huge step forward. Many people feel like people like me, who had an affair at the end of their marriage, are bad people who must "lie in the beds they made." My affair, both from mine and Ted's perspective, changed our lives for the better. We had no purpose, aside from Ted having his children. Our lives together feel like family, hope, honesty, and happiness. Honestly I love those boys for all their courage and strength that neither of their parents nor I gave them. They gave it to themselves by surviving heartache at a young age. They aren't, however, victims of divorce. They lead happy lives that include a mom, a dad, and me. It's disappointing and sad that they aren't always allowed to just live without this shadow of divorce but it keeps creeping in. They are learning to ride the waves of emotion though.

One thing I've learned about being a step-parent is that children are not the sums of their parents. I don't think of my mom and dad when I define myself! So why should I think of theirs' when I think of these boys? Everyone deserves to grow up without being told who not to trust, especially when it's a loving relationship. I know however in the end everyone knows exactly what their parents are like once they grow up. I hope to keep true to myself and Ted and the boys so that they know I always supported them, just like a true parent should.